Love, Sex and Money

26 Feb

“It’s tough,” she said, “break-ups always are. The important thing to remember is that it won’t always feel like this. You’ve just got to fight through it.”

These words have taken on a whole new meaning in light of recent University issues.

Let me explain. For some time, University has been courting a pretty and intelligent, if not somewhat neurotic and ruthless young lady named Money. This happy union has continued for a number of years now, and all of University’s friends – Department, Student, Union, and Exec – were pleased with this.

Sadly, Money and University are no longer together. It has been a bitter break-up. You notice the little changes that have affected University as he stumbles around like an angst-ridden teenager, bereft of any sort of understanding. He is undergoing the Kubler-Ross model, the five stages of grief, with some curious results.

First comes denial. University refuses to believe the relationship is over, and begins building giant blocks of accommodation despite the fact that there are more places for students to live in Leeds than there are students themselves. Then there are the other developments, like the new SSC building and the placement of flashy signs around campus. In the early stages, University’s friends leave him alone, believing that he’ll work through the problems himself.

Next comes the anger stage. University begins to get suspicious and embittered towards his close friends. After an unhealthy dose of Linkin Park and other emotional despair ridden soundtracks, University decides to blame all his problems on Department. Department was always a close friend of Money, and they hung around together a lot. Department must have influenced her decision to leave. Maybe they were secretly cheating behind University’s back! University begins to hate Department, and much text-messaging and adolescent posturing takes place.

Following on from that comes bargaining. University beings to seek ways to get Money back, all the while blaming the original problems on Department. University manages to convince Exec and Union that he was right all along. Exec and Union, for their part, try and convince Student of Department’s guilt in the whole debacle. This is the stage we’re at now.

Student is very much the paternal figure of the group. Student is the gentle giant whose quietly tolerant presence tries to mitigate all the various factors and come up with an amicable solution to help University deal with the rejection he is feeling. Student really doesn’t want to take sides that much, after all, Student has a close relationship with all four of the other friends, especially Department.

The thing Student has to remember is that Money is gone. Money isn’t coming back, and is probably immensely enjoying herself somewhere else. Money is a capricious creature. Student just wants everyone to get along, and thinks University needs to work through the problems. Student wants an intervention to show University just how wrong he’s been. Sometimes, it’s not about blame, betrayal and retribution. These things happen, and University is wrong to take it all out on Department, and then try and influence Student.

Whether University makes up with Department is probably down to which side Student takes. Of course, whatever the outcome there is still the depressive stage, during which University mopes around for a bit, before finally reaching acceptance. The road to getting over Money won’t be an easy one, but as was recently pointed out to me, its just something University is going to have to push through.

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